Pages 62 & 63

Self deprecation freeway

Note: Man maintains generally gleeful demeanor throughout.

Scene: middle-aged man in suit driving along an empty road.

Man: Here I am, speeding along in my full-featured, brand new loathe mobile!

Scene: man gets stuck in traffic. Honking in the background.

Man: I just picked up the new model from the good people at suicide manufacturing! I, of course, was convinced to go purchase mine by the commercial I am sure you’ve all seen entitled “Everyone is Better than You!”

Cut Scene: different man standing alone in a room.

Powerful voice of God: Everyone is better than you!

Man: WOW! That’s so true!

Scene: man pulls up to a nightclub. Speaking as he gets out of his car to enter the club.

Man: Naturally, I took it out for a long drive right away.

Scene: man approaches and sits at a table of what appear to be his pals.

Man: not wanting to miss out on any of that magical feeling of having all of my fake fucking friends simultaneously stab me in the back and laugh at my funeral.

Scene: “pals” making rude and disrespectful gestures towards man, mock him.

Man: It’s like time and the fact I’ve never made a single one of my own life choices just fade away when I’m ripping around in my 2017 Hate-O-Matic!

Scene: Man walks in on his wife fucking one of his “pals,” goes to closet and starts changing clothes.

Man: When a product this revolutionary comes along, there will always be nay-sayers.

Scene: man walks out of the room and heads outside.

Man: people will say “depression’s just a fad, it’ll blow over” or “there’ll be a better product out next year.”

Scene: man drives away from house.

Man: these people don’t know what they’re talking about.

Scene: man arrives at another traffic jam.

Man: This is it, the right product for your mundane and undesirable life. Depression is what you deserve. You’ve earned it!

Scene: Pan out showing multi-mile long traffic jam.

Narrator: this was a paid advertisement. Do not operate depression while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.